It’s a big topic of discussion among Christian circles: Can a Christian date a non-believer? There’s a lot of perspectives but right now, let’s look at scripture.
In biblical times, dating didn’t really exist and the Bible doesn’t mention the word. But the Bible has plenty to say about relationships, love, and lifestyle.
Before we can answer the big question, there are 3 questions that we should answer first.
What is dating for?
Dating is not about getting to know the other person or figuring out if there’s a romantic connection between you two. All that stuff should happen before the dating stage. That explains why being friends first is essential.
Whether you like it or not, when you enter into a dating relationship, you are opening your heart to someone else with the possibility of getting hurt.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4: 23
So if you’re going to be that vulnerable with someone as you enter into a relationship with them, wouldn’t you want it to be with someone you already know and trusts?
I believe the dating relationship should be entered into with the intent of marriage. It may be an old fashioned way of dating but it is a wise way to consider.
Are we compatible?
There are four areas of compatibility with any relationship that we should consider:
This speaks about being attracted to the person. This may seem shallow but let’s not downplay the importance of this area.
Do you connect on an emotional level?
Can you engage in meaningful, truthful, vulnerable conversation with them about the things that matter most?
This is the most important area. As Christians, we are called to put God first in everything we do.
“In all your ways, submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” –Proverbs 3: 6
Do they put God first? How can two people stay on the same path if they’re not heading in the same direction?
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” – 2 Corinthians 6: 14
When we are unequally yoked in our relationship, we will not be able to do the work that God has called us to do.
Is God # 1?
Romantic relationships are one the easiest places for sin to sneak into our lives. It is much easier to keep holiness at the center of a relationship if the other person shares that desire with you.
Can A Christian Date A Non-Believer?
With all those being said, I believe the answer is NO. Dating a non-believer is not a good idea. Any relationships require deeper wisdom. Seek the Lord’s wisdom before entering into a relationship.
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